"Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have."

After attending the memorial for Sgt. Mycal Prince who was killed Sept. 15 2011, I am left to wonder what his death and the deaths of thousands of other U.S. Soldiers, means to our President and to this Country's "leaders". Was he just another name on a long list, another face on the news? Not to his wife, not to his Mom or to his little girls, or his brothers and sisters and friends and the soldiers that served with him and not to me. So my question is this: Isn't it more important than ever to start winning the War that we are fighting? In my opinion, it's time to TURN UP THE HEAT on the Middle East. Isn't the very definition of insanity repeating the same act and expecting different results? We have tried the U.N., we have tried diplomacy, we have tried letting them take care of their own troubles but guess what? They keep kicking in our doors and robbing of us of peace. Are you aware that in a recent ABC interview, most Afghans said that they don't even know why the U.S. is there or why there is a war? They don't even know about 9/11 or America's beef with the Taliban or more accurately put, The Taliban's obsession with killing America. They don't have fox news 24/7 or freedom of the press. In the interview that I saw, one Afghan man said he knew about 9/11 but that was only two buildings and we have bombed hundreds of theirs. Uh ok...whatever that means... Maybe he was trying to say we should be done over there? However much I would like to be done sending soldiers over there, we can not quit until the job is done. Yes that means more death for us and them and maybe, just maybe one day it will mean peace. Evil is still alive and well and at this very moment, planning more attacks. I have already asked what the deaths of these soldiers mean to our President. The more important question is what these deaths mean to us the American People? I used to have this fear that "young people" would not know how valuable freedom is and would not be willing to fight for it. But I was wrong. Young people are fighting for freedom and their fatherless children will know what it means and hopefully, they won't have to fight our government, the Taliban or each other for it.

Yesterday the memorial was filled with hundreds of flag waving, small town, good American people and it was awesome to be a part of! There's a lot ot be said for standing shoulder to shoulder to honor a good man and a fallen soldier with people who believe in the same America that you do. I see things a little clearer now. People were kinder than usual , we all felt like "One Nation Under God." Moms with babies in strollers were passing out flags and a guy that was a father of three handed out bottled water to those who were thirsty and let Anna and Tay sit on his truck when they were tired of standing. That's him in the picture standing on top of his truck waving the American Flag. I wish I could thank him and the many others that were there for helping to restore my vision of the real America. For making me see that America is alive and well in all of us even when our foreign and domestic enemies are trying to kill it.  Yesterday I once again got to see that good can and will come of everyday people working together.

Thank you to all who have served and serve now. We appreciate the sacrifices that you and your family's have made.  Your service to our country is greatly appreciated. Your contributions to the goodness of America and your sacrifices for freedom can not be measured.

May all of our fallen soldiers rest in peace. I hope and pray that their families will find strength and comfort in these hard times. I am thankful for their service to our country and I grieve their sacrifices.

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

Having one of those days/weeks/months/years... Lately, all I feel is not good enough. It's a vicious cycle and it all starts with feeling tired, like all the time. Then I'm not motivated because I'm wallowing in tiredness. Then I feel like a loser because I'm tired and my house is only half way clean all the time. It's never spotless. Ever. Just good enough, so then I just feel lazy. Then I start feeling sad and chubby and hungry and out of shape. Then I move on to feeling irritated and defeated. Then I play the blame game and all the blame goes straight to me. My head is filled with things like: This is what I get for not reading my scriptures like I'm supposed to and for skipping family home evening for four nights of football and baseball practice per week plus games and weekly date with the PTA. I must admit, I love helping at John's school. It makes him so happy to have me there. Last Friday, I helped the PTA in the morning and had lunch with John in the afternoon, we were both happy and Ryan and Anna got some much needed one on one time.

When I look at my kids, I feel a surge of joy and thankfulness that is automatically followed by the thought that I'm not good enough for them. I could be more fun, I could be happier, craftier, more patient, smarter, healthier, more compassionate, more resourceful, more spiritual and more joyful. So why must I dwell on all the things that I am and am not and wish to be? Hmmmm.... What I do know is that I love my kids with everything that I have and I do everything to make sure that they are happy and loved. Then I realize that my kids don't see me the way that I see myself. They don't focus on my faults, they focus on the good. Who I am right now is enough for them. They are happy. Today I was looking at an animal book with John and Anna and we were picking out what we wanted to be and I picked something furry and sweet and John said, good choice Mom. It's cute like you. Awwwhh!

So after all of this, I have realized that I must recognize the good in myself, keep striving to be better and draw near unto the Lord in this time of doubt instead of falling to the ways of the world. Lately, I have just had all this doubt about the tender mercies of the Lord. Why would he know and love and protect my path and meet my needs while thousands of innocent people lie starving on the other side of the world. There are literally thousands of men, women and children starving in Somalia this very minute as I sit on my leather couch complaining about having too much food to eat. This seed of doubt has made me not want to ask the Lord for the things I need because I feel so unimportant compared to all of those in this world that really need the blessings, protection and mercy of our Father in Heaven, the comfort of the Holy Ghost and the redemption we find in Christ.

I may not be able to change the world, but I can keep trying to change me. I will strive to love and serve the Lord and raise my children to do the same and when I feel doubt, I will pray.

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.