Things I've learned from T-Ball

Yes, I know the title of the post should really be things John has learned from T-Ball...But what can I say, this whole little league thing has really opened my eyes to a few things.

1. It's finally time for me to admit that well, I have kinda, sorta over the years turned into a pretty intense person. There. I said it. Oh, I've tried to rationalize it. I say things to myself like, I'm only passionate about parenting. Oh wait...And our country, politics, my faith, Twilight and uh now, T-ball. Why my friends am I so dang fanatical about T-Ball, it is after all, only T-Ball...Right? Well let me tell you what I think. It's not the game that gets my adrenaline going. I've come to the conclusion that the root of the problem is this: For the first time in John's life, I can't help him. I'm not in control of the outcome. He's on his own. And it kills me. I want to be able to protect him from any failure, bad feeling, wrong choice and/or loss. I've learned that all those things I want to do are not possible or sane and that if I try to do those things I will be robbing him of the good things that come from making his own choices, working hard to accomplish a goal and succeeding on his own. So anyways, this year has been a year of new beginnings for John. This was his first year of riding the bus, going to school all day, making his own friends, making a lot of his own choices, suffering his own consequences, playing ball and liking girls. It's also time for me to let him know that it's ok, wait no, it's good for him to let go of Mom and accomplish good things on his own. The only problem is me. I don't want to let go. I want to get him dressed, hold him, read to him, brush his teeth, hear about every part of his day, kiss him a hundred times and laugh at his silly jokes and funny faces.

2. It's ALWAYS COLDER on a baseball field than it is anywhere else in the whole entire town.

3. It's ok to lose. No, it's better than ok, it's necessary. In my life I have learned more from the losses than the wins. In fact, you won't find a better teacher than heartbreak, let downs, lost chances, bounced checks, regret and mistakes. So as much as I want to shield John from all those things, they are just part of life and they must happen so that he can grow to be a stronger better person who understands accountability, self-control and determination. But more than that he will grow to appreciate the sweet and good things in life and cherish them. Once you taste bitterness the sweet is so much better. I have always like that old saying: May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

4. It's impossible to keep up with all the baseball equipment and the entire uniform. We are already missing the belt. And a red sock...

5. Why can't I stop myself from being a crazy nutcase when John is playing??? I can't tell you how many times I've yelled at him on the field. Things like: Look alive, pay attention, CATCH THE BALL, run home, throw it to third, THROW IT HOME and last but notleast RUUUNNNN! And to make it worse, I'm not even supposed to be doing that. He has three really good coaches on the field with him at all times that will tell him what to do. I feel so bad about myself that I want to send a note of apology to the coaches. I promise I am trying to stop. Lets see how it goes tonight, maybe I can for once keep my lips sealed.

6. How will I ever make it through pictching machine and real baseball if I can barely make it through T-Ball? Why am I crazy now? I made it through basketball and soccer just fine. The difference is he loves baseball and he may have a talent for it.